Beast
by Drunken Debutante
Summary: Jake is heartbroken over Bella, and he'll do anything in his power to change her mind.
1. Chapter 1

**I.**

"Stop." Sam almost breathed the word so Emily wouldn't hear, stabbing an oversized piece of steak and shoving it in his mouth. "You're really starting to piss me off." He mumbled a little louder, spraying bits of the meat on the placemat his fiancée had so carefully set out. Even though it was just the three of us eating dinner. For the third time this week. So much for pack togetherness.

Not like I could really escape Quil, Embry and the rest of them. They were still there, thinking almost exactly what Sam had just muttered out loud.

"_You _stop." Emily replied, swatting Sam with an oven mitt. "_I _think its sweet." Her dark eyes flashed to me, and she smiled quickly before whipping around to tackle the plates we'd soiled. I winced at the stack of plates gathering up and felt momentarily guilty—an outsider might think Emily had arranged an elaborate barbeque for twelve judging by the dirty dishes. Abruptly I stood up, feeling, as usual, that I had overstayed my welcome.

At the beginning of the summer, Sam ordered the rest of the pack to give me some space—but after a whole two days of relative solitude, he'd taken to babysitting me. In truth, my options were limited: staying home meant dealing with my dad who had grown concerned with my depression, and more often than not Charlie, _her _father. Going out meant spending time with the pack, and imprinted or not 'sex' was not almost always a topic of conversation. Going to _her _was simultaneously a necessity and something to avoid at all cost. And everywhere I went there were clocks and calendars taunting me, reminding me how little time I had left.

Even Charlie pitied me—the man's own daughter had all but up and left him, and he got over it much too quickly if you ask me. He and my father at first tried making me feel better ("You know, since Alice is planning Bella's whole wedding, she's got a lot of free time right now. Why don't you two get together before the big day?") and then simply left me in sad silence, careful to never mention her name in my presence. The pack had gone from empathetic, to understanding, to wary, to frustrated. I understood—they had to think about her every second that I did. Which was essentially every second of every minute of every hour of every day.

"Its not like you imprinted." Sam had gotten impatient with my moroseness earlier today. His voice was harsh, but even—it was nothing compared to the way Paul was always on my back. But it still stung. Didn't he realize I _tried _that? I didn't even try to fight back or anything. I was just kind of…broken. Of all of them, it was Emily and Leah who came to my rescue, forming a tentative alliance that broke through the tense situation between the two of them and Sam.

"That doesn't mean he doesn't love her!" Leah cried fiercely, narrowing her eyes at Sam who refused to meet her gaze. Their history usually made things…difficult for the pack. But Leah seemed to understand better than anyone. Sam made nice and invited me to dinner; their home had become a sort of refuge. Even with Emily making small talk and the platefuls of food, I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't stop thinking about Bella. Not just her hair and her face and her body and _having _her, kissing her, holding her…those types of thoughts hurt more. They only came at night, when I let my guard down. Now I was analyzing, like Cullen always did. He thinks he's so smart just because he had a whole century to get where he is. He keeps on pulling all this "selfless" crap, telling Bella he'd never hurt her. Telling her she could make the choice between him and me. That's a lie. He's a _bloodsucker_, they hurt by nature. And he never really gave her a choice.

He says that if she really wanted to go, he wouldn't stop her. That if she wanted me, she could have me. That's the difference between us: I know she belongs with me. I can feel it; there has never been any doubt in my mind that this wedding is a mistake. I know she loves me. And I know that his _vampire_ love, cold, hard, and empty as it is, is nothing compared to what I can give her.

The worst part is that I practically led her to him. I might as well have given her a fucking map to the bloodsucker's house. I told her what they were. He deserted her, the stupid leech, and still she goes back to him. He says he doesn't want her to change, but if she doesn't they can never be together. If I had her, I would never make her change. I would be the one to change.

I left Sam's and walked home, but didn't feel like going inside. I could see through the window the glare of the T.V. The game was on. Charlie and my dad were probably watching. I decided to go to the garage to avoid talking to either of them. Automatically, I climbed into the front seat of the Rabbit, staring blankly into the driveway. I tried to clear my mind, gazing out into the twilight, but I couldn't erase the others' thoughts. Such trivial things—Leah and Sam arguing, Jared and Kim kissing, Quil and Embry out by the beach—I hated this unbreakable connection I had with them. I wanted to be alone. No, I wanted to be with Bella. Before I had a chance to talk myself out of it, I started the engine.

* * *

I had written a list a couple of weeks ago that I still had in my pocket. It was all of the reasons she should be with me instead of him. When I pulled into her driveway, I considered just shoving the note under the door and running. I didn't want to risk seeing the bloodsucker there. I might have to kill him.

Now the whole idea of a note seemed really juvenile, even though, at one point, that was how she tried to contact me. She used to joke about how much younger I was than her, and even still, it kind of annoyed me. Even with the whole "werewolf" thing, I'm still technically sixteen years old. But I'm supposed to compete with some whose over a hundred fucking years old, who has had that amount of time to practice ways to lure innocent girls into his bed. I feel like a little kid. But I still feel so much older than I did when I first met her down by the beach. And I look so much older…doesn't that count for something?

Sighing, I pulled the note out from my pocket to scan it over, looking down to remember I hadn't put on a shirt. Shit. In fairness to myself, I had become remiss with the whole "getting dressed" thing as of late. First, it was hot, being mid-June. Even in Forks, we got some relatively high temperatures, which were rough on a guy like me. Today especially, had been unusually sweltering weather. I had been asked, repeatedly, to join everyone down on the beach to enjoy the sun, but didn't feel up to it. Second, having scarcely left the house these past few weeks except to change or see the rest of the guys, fretting over what clothes to wear wasn't really a high priority. On the plus side, if I for whatever reason had to take down Cullen, changing would be a snap.

I had pretty much memorized the wrinkled scrap of paper I had abandoned in my pocket. Glancing at it now, it seemed nothing more than an unorganized list of thoughts. About two-thirds of it had been crossed out; a few more choice words (blood-sucker and Cullen among them) had been underlined vehemently. Save one sentence at the top, the whole thing seemed nothing more than chicken scratch, no more than a vice to release his feelings. Carefully I traced the three words I wrote first and foremost with my thumb nail: I love her.

With a surge of confidence I leapt out of the car and slammed the door, swaggering up to the door the way I had so many times before. This felt normal, right even. I was only slightly concerned about what I would do if Cullen opened the door. I recognized his scent, but it was faint. It didn't seem like he was here today. Maybe, I thought too quickly, he had left again.

I rapped on the door and waited, feeling suddenly nervous as her footsteps broke the silence. She must have been upstairs. I could hear her walk down the stairs. Through the living room. Into the front hall. She hesitated in front of the door.

"It's Jacob." I said hesitantly, bracing myself for her reaction. At that she flung the door open, grinning and dragging me inside.

"Jake, I'm so glad you came." She smiled genuinely, clasping my hand and guiding me to a seat at her kitchen table. She chattered, clearly happy to see me. "I wanted to call you, and I did twice, but your dad said you were feeling kind of down, which I knew was because of me, and you know, you shouldn't Jake because you know how I feel about you—"

Simultaneously, we noticed what the other was wearing. Bella wore an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants (pajamas, maybe?) and, my stomach turned at the sight, a ring on her left hand. My ensemble was hardly better: sweat pant cut offs, and tangled hair that now reached my shoulders. I dropped her hand and took a step backwards. We were both silent.

"I missed you." I said quietly, not quite meeting her gaze. Instead, my eyes swept her entire being: her hair pulled back into a pony-tale, a smile still on her lips but her eyes slightly fearful, uncertain.

"So did I." Her voice was barely above a whisper, and we stood, intensely aware of each other. I tried to suppress the question, but it slipped out of my mouth before I realized.

"Where's Cullen?" My voice was sharp, snarky. A complete departure from my earlier statement. Bella's eyes flashed angrily and she waited a beat, taking it all in, looking me up and down before making eye contact again.

"He's with Jasper and Emmet." She replied in a clipped voice. Instinctively I growled and turned away. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her cross her arms. "If you're not going to be nice—"

"No! I am, I am," I jumped in hurriedly, taking two quick steps until I stood inches away from her, the tips of my sneakers touching hers. "I just don't know how to speak to you anymore, I guess, you being a married woman and all…" I tried to make my voice sound playful, but there was an unintentional edge to it.

"Not yet," Bella said evenly. Her face gave nothing away, but I grinned at her lack of enthusiasm, and though she struggled, couldn't help but smile back.

"You never seemed the type to get married so young, to me, anyway." I touched the ring on her finger and observed it carefully—it looked expensive. Figures. "I mean my sister did too, it's just…unusual. You should tell Edward it's not 1925 anymore." I smirked and she pulled her hand away.

"Jake—" Her voice was quiet, a warning. But I was too close to her now, I could feel the warmth of her body. Being forced to leave her now would be the worst thing possible, and I ground my teeth together to try and suppress the overwhelming feelings of emotion—absolute hatred toward Edward, and uncontrollable love for Bella.

"Come on. Just let me stay. It's the least you can do after breaking my heart." I tried to joke, but my voice wavered at the last second, and I looked down to see Bella's concerned eyes. There was pity, yes. But she cared; she wasn't just humoring me.

"Jake," This time her voice was warm, and as she stated my name she threw her arms up around my neck and pressed her cheek against my chest. "I just want things to be the way they were," Her words were muffled against my body. I felt a twinge in my stomach at the way she reacted, and I pushed a little further.

"I don't want you to leave me." I kissed the top of her head hesitantly, experimenting. I tightened my hold around her waist and easily lifted her up and placed her on the kitchen counter, so she was a little taller. Not quite eye level, but almost. Had she always been so small, so delicate? I gently kissed her forehead, tracing my lips down her face to kiss her cheek.

"Don't…" She murmured, almost whining.

"I'm not convinced, Bella," I chuckled and kissed the other cheek. I then hovered slightly above her lips, and whispered, "You're going to be gone in a few weeks anyway, I need something to remember you by." Just saying it out loud made me ache, and a feeling of desperation overtook me.

But it was Bella who moved first, moving her head to meet my lips, ever so slightly. A gasp escaped my mouth, and I was insatiable, grasping her tightly, kissing with force to make up for all the nights I couldn't. I heard her whimper, and I pulled back, begrudgingly.

"Please, Bella," I begged, but at the sound of a car engine, both of us swiveled towards the window to see Charlie pulling into the driveway and parking behind my Rabbit.

"You have to leave." Bella said flatly, refusing to meet my gaze.

"Charlie knows I'm here," I countered, "My car's in your driveway. Besides, he likes me. Quite frankly, I have a feeling that if you were going to marry anyone he would want—"

"Well we can't exactly make out in front of him," Bella cut me off icily, scolding me like a child. "I can't make out with you at all, actually." She looked suddenly horrified, as if she hadn't really realized what it was we'd been doing. I heard the car door slam and I reluctantly swooped Bella off the table, and placed her a good three feet away. I sat down at the kitchen table, and smiled easily when Charlie walked in.

"Jake!" Charlie seemed genuinely happy see me. Well, happy to see me now that I didn't look so pathetic. He looked quizzically at my "outfit" before glancing at Bella for the answer.

"It was so nice out today, I went swimming with a couple of pals. Then I cam straight up here." I lied smoothly, grinning. "I hadn't seen Bella in awhile, and, as you know, her days are numbered." Charlie nodded, and Bella scowled at my double meaning.

"Jake was just about to head out," Bella stated firmly, grasping one of my shoulders. Shrugging and I got up and followed her to the door.

"See ya," I said as I passed Charlie, who murmured a bewildered acknowledgment before heading upstairs, clearly distracted. I allowed Bella to try and drag me to the front porch, but stood firmly underneath the flickering porch light. I waited until I was sure Charlie was in his room before speaking.

"I'm not leaving you." I stated, matter-of-factly. "I don't care that you're getting married. I even care that its to that bl—" I coughed, and changed tactics. "I love you, I know you love me. I could give you a thousand reasons why, but I am not giving you up. I know you belong with me." My words came out in a jumble, slurred and rushed. "I'll wait until Charlie's asleep. Then I'll come up to your room." I smiled devilishly, stroking her cheek.

"No," she answered too quickly, "You have to leave, I can't have you here."

"Why? Is Cullen coming back? Does he have spies around to keep you on lockdown?" I frowned and crossed my arms. If she wasn't letting me in, I was not leaving this porch. I saw her conflicted face, and pouted, holding one of her hands lightly. "I just want to know you feel the same way." I said quietly. "It's hard for me. I've got a big ego, and you keep turning me down." I nudged her only slightly but she wobbled backward unsteadily. I laughed loudly and pulled her into me, resting my head on top of hers.

"I'll meet you somewhere…" I could feel her face scrunching up, racking her brain for a place. "In the woods behind my house, in forty-five minutes, after Charlie's fallen asleep." She nodded towards a path that was barely visible in the dim light of the porch. "Go park your car somewhere, wait for me."

"Promise?" I pulled her chin up towards me, raising an eyebrow, a light smile forming when I noticed her furrowed brow. She clearly had a lot on her plate. But so did I.

"Yes." She laughed and squirmed, trying to pull out of my grasp to no avail. "Let me go." She scowled in mock anger, but her eyes were bright. I clicked my tongue and shook my head.

"Not until—" And I swooped down to kiss her, clearly surprising her. I dropped her suddenly, and dashed away, eager to run into the dark and furtive forest so I could see her again.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**II.**

I parked my Rabbit on the next street over, and tried to stay in the car as long as possible. I knew that when Bella said forty-five minutes, she meant forty-five minutes. But after much deliberation, I convinced myself that maybe she would get there early. I paced in the woods, just hidden beyond the brush. I was nervous, which surprised me—Bella had the power to make me happy, and sometimes incredibly angry, but never nervous. I ran over things to say to her, feeling like I should have some monologue ready. _Cullen _probably would have memorized some Shakespeare shit that she would positively swoon over.

But I didn't want to talk right now. I wanted to _feel_ her, while her heart still beat, while she was still warm and soft. Not cold and hard with that insufferable stench after those _bloodsuckers_ would corrupt her in a matter of weeks. I knew Bella never really wanted to tell me the whole "plot" she and Cullen had come up with. I'm not sure if its worse that I know what will eventually happen to her or not. Maybe I can convince her to change. Maybe.

"Jake?" Bella whispered, but even if she yelled it Charlie wouldn't have been able to hear her over the screeching cicadas. The light around the area was dim, lit only by the full moon and the lights left on in Bella's house. I leapt towards her (relishing in my newfound equilibrium) where she entered the forest a few feet away, startling her slightly. She yelped as I pulled her towards me, but giggled. "You're so eager," she laughed. "Like a puppy."

"You changed." I stroked her gray sweater and pulled her away momentarily to look her up and down. She wore sneakers (this made sense—twigs and thorns were not comfortable for her human feet) and jeans, with her hair pulled away from her face in a clip.

"It gets cold at night," she reasoned, "And I was wearing pajamas…I looked gross before." She wrinkled her nose.

"Wow, you're boring." I widened my eyes in mock surprise. "In bed by nine o'clock? On a Friday night?" I snorted. "I think you need a little more excitement in your life."

"Do you?" Bella replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Alice is busy planning the wedding, which I have carefully explained to her I have no interest in fretting over. Edward is out and won't be back until Sunday…" I cringed at the mention of Cullens, but pulled her closer, pressing her head to my chest like before, silencing her before she could go on.

"Can you hear it?" I asked, stroking her hair.

"What?" She looked up at me, confused.

"My heartbeat." She pressed her head against my chest and placed her hand directly beside it.

"I can feel it." She replied, softly.

"He doesn't have that," I tried to control the anger in my voice. "When he holds you, you don't feel anything. He's not alive, Bella. I am."

"You're my best friend, Jacob." She said it dully, defeated. "I don't want to fight with you anymore, not when I've got so little time to spend with you."

"Oh yes, because this is all about the _wedding_." My voice was louder than I intended, and she shuddered in my grasp. I lowered my voice but my tone was equally harsh. "_Humans_ get married, Bella. And guess what? They don't always last forever, just look at your parents." My knowledge of the Swan marriage situation had been gathered from bits and pieces I'd overheard from my father, and even then it was years before I knew Bella, so I never really paid attention. Bella had never really wanted to talk about her mother and father's relationship, or lack thereof. Still, I knew I struck a chord when I saw the pained look on her face. "You can't undo what—" I struggled to find the words. "When he bites you, that's it. You're done. No more me. No more Charlie. You live with those _Cullens_—" I spit out the word with such venom she recoiled. "Forever. And I'm using the term 'living' loosely."

"I love him." She said it simply. She didn't have to convince me. I already knew.

"And if you only loved him, if you had no feelings for me whatsoever, no reason to live, no hope at all, I would leave you alone. If we truly are only _best friends_ and nothing more, I wouldn't bother you. I'd let you go, willingly." There was a hint of doubt in that last phrase. I loved her too intensely to let her go, even if she rejected me outright, I'd still follow her.

She shook beneath me, and I worried suddenly that she was crying. She wasn't—yet. Her left hand was on my shoulder, the ring mocking my words.

"But I want you," My voice was suddenly husky, rich with longing, and I pressed my lips along her hairline. "And I know you want me too. He's the first one you ever loved, how do you know he's the last? Maybe you're not meant to be together." She turned her head and I knew I'd spoken aloud something she'd been thinking for awhile. "And you'll never know if you jump into this so quickly."

"So what does that make you, the other woman?" She giggled, trying to lighten the mood. "A home wrecker."

"The other _man_," I replied, spreading my arms. "Werewolf." I corrected myself, grinning.

"I can't do this to Edward," she said suddenly, looking up at me, immediately somber.

"He's not here."

"He's been trying to stay away…" Bella blushed and looked down.

"What? Why?"

"To…" She struggled, and couldn't make eye contact. "…resist temptation." She said finally. I remembered back to that night in tent. Cullen with his cruel eyes, reminding me of how he had Bella while I couldn't.

"I'd just always assumed the two of you had..." Fucked. The word I wanted to use for such a vile act. "…slept together."

"Of course not." Her voice was cold. "He couldn't, he might accidentally hurt me or something. Or whatever."

"Exactly." I murmured, "I guess I'm not a saint like he is." I lifted her up, cradling her in my arms like a child and walked several paces to an old oak tree. Sitting carefully between two gnarled roots, I placed her carefully on my lap. I pulled her into me, resting my forehead against hers, my breath making her eyelashes flutter. She traced her fingertips along my chest, moving downwards across my stomach. I moved my hands from where they lay on her waist edging under her sweater to feel the smoothness of her skin.

She sighed contentedly, which pleased me. I was suddenly glad of my "werewolf tendencies". The human Jacob would have fumbled and struggled. My hands moved slowly and easily, and she never once pushed me away. In one quick motion I pulled the sweater over her head, which was when I first met resistance. She sputtered angrily, crossing her arms over her bra. One of those cotton ones, nothing lacy like from those magazines.

"I'll keep you warm," I whispered into her ear, folding my arms around her, trying to brace her against the lukewarm temperatures typical of a Forks summer night. I kissed her before she had a chance to really protest, eagerly drinking her in. She threw here arms around my neck, tilting her head and tangling her fingers in my hair. Her passion surprised me, I was almost convinced I would get to see the Bella I knew. The Bella _without _the bloodsuckers, who was always happy to see me.

I was overcome with how much I wanted her at this moment, worrying that she might pull away and want to stop, and knowing how much I didn't want to. I kissed her jaw line and her neck and her collarbone, while her fingers brushed against my neck and face, gently stroking my cheeks and forehead. She ran her hands down my body, hesitating at the waistband, as if suddenly unsure. I growled impatiently, placing my hands on top of hers, trying to maneuver my body for better access. The outdoors suddenly hindered me, a place I usually felt so comfortable. There were too many rocks, too many plants and twigs in all the wrong places. After wriggling on the ground for several incredibly long seconds, I sighed and gave up, collapsing in a heap on the floor. Bella was sitting on her knees beside me, biting her lip to keep from laughing.

"This isn't working." I admitted.

"This is all wrong." Bella said sadly, clumsily getting to her feet, looking unsteady.

"No, no," I was quick to reply, not wanting all the hard work I put in to be undone. "This is right, this is perfect. I love you, and I'm just showing it." I attempted what I hoped was an innocent smile. She placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"No," she wrinkled her nose, "_Doing it_ outdoors."

"'Doing it'? I'm sorry, are you eleven?" I laughed and grabbed her, savoring her touch. "And where exactly do you propose we 'do it', Miss Swan? The backseat of my car? Is the big city girl attempting to become a small-town cliché?"

"I'll come to La Push tomorrow," she promised, ignoring my comment. "We'll talk." She said in a warning voice, "I don't want you to get the wrong idea." She wriggled away and pulled her sweater on, heading towards the safety of her well-cared for lawn.

"That's all I get as a goodbye?" I pretended to be hurt, but I was legitimately concerned about leaving her. The mere thought put me on edge. "Just let me stay the night. I'm sure Charlie's asleep by now, I'll spend the night in you're bed—"

"Jacob—" She turned around, one foot on the grass, arms crossed over her chest.

"—or you're room. Just you're room. I'll sit in your desk chair, I'll stay two feet away from you at all times." I held up my hands in defeat. Jesus, she had me compromising all over the place.

"No, Jake. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll come down to La Push," she promised when she saw my crestfallen face. I met up with her and grasped her hand, walking around the side of her house to the front door she left unlocked.

"Fine." It wasn't ideal, but I could tell from her tone that she wasn't backing down. She swayed slightly, clearly exhausted. I picked her up and carried her up the porch steps, silently opening the door and stepping inside.

"Okay, Jake, good night." She tried to get up and walk up stairs herself.

"No," I grinned, "I'll carry you up."

"Leave me here, I don't want you coming up."

"Why?"

"Because I won't be able to get you to come back down." I grinned. "And once you're there I'm not sure if I'll want you to leave." She smiled ruefully, and I decided not to push my luck. I kissed her gently, sweetly on the lips and set her on her feet.

" 'Night." I said, backing out the door, shutting it behind me. I jogged a ways, getting into my car. I sat, staring at absolute nothingness through the dashboard, completely content.


	3. Chapter 3

That night I slept soundly, dreaming of her in a way I hadn't been able to during those weeks of darkness

That night I slept soundly, dreaming of her in a way I hadn't been able to during those weeks of darkness. And in the morning I was collectively forgiven by everyone, as dictated by a hand-scrawled note from my father, which I found when I finally rolled out of bed a little after eleven.

_Sam came over this morning and I told him you got back late after driving to Forks. He said not to worry about anything and left. Call Bella._

Sam would be pleased, I knew, as would the rest of the pack. My moroseness combined with my one-track mind had been driving them all insane. My dad was out fishing with Charlie, a summer Saturday tradition for as long as I could remember. Usually he would have invited me, despite the fact that I always answered in the negative. I imagine Charlie had already filled him on my reuniting with Bella—you'd almost think the two of them could read minds the way they were always in sync.

I lumbered over to the phone and perched on the edge of the kitchen table, dialing Bella's number. It was ringing when I heard a knock on the door. I peeked through the window to see Bella's truck in the driveway. Without hesitation I bounded to the front door, phone still in hand. Flinging the door open, I saw Bella standing quite impatiently on my front stoop.

"I thought you were never going to wake up," she said in greeting, and I beckoned her in, closing the front door.

"That was nothing—I can sleep a good fourteen hours and still be exhausted when I wake up."

"What a talent." I linked arms with her and traced tiny circles around her wrist, moving up her forearm into the crook of her elbow. "So I was thinking about what we could do to day—"

"You have cute hands." I opened her fingers and studied her nails, flipping her hand over and kissing her palm.

"And it's actually a really clear day out. Warm. Well, 60, which is warm for Forks…"

"Let's go to my room." I grinned and put my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her backwards guiding her down the hall.

"No, Jacob. No. No—" She groaned and submitted, but her cold demeanor was less than welcoming. I flung her onto my bed where she sat firmly cross-legged, slouched over, hair slipping in front of her face. "No." She said once more, muffled behind her hair.

"Yes." I smiled, sitting next to her, pulling her face up to mine, pressing a long, sweet kiss on her lips. Bella tried to pull her head away, but I was insistent, finding her lips again and again until she moaned and softened against my touch. I opened my mouth and lifted her slightly, pressing my body against her. I lay her down as lightly as possible, running one hand up the side of her body (an effective distraction) while the other found her left hand and intertwined our fingers. Aggressively I kissed her, trying to gently remove the ring she wore on her finger without her noticing. She tried to murmur something silenced by my own mouth. I tossed the ring away from us, distinctly hearing a 'clink' as it made contact with a hard surface, now lost among the dirty socks and never-returned library books that littered the hardwood floor of my bedroom. Wrapping my arms around her, I nuzzled my face into her cheek, and sighed contentedly. Bella melted into me, completely engulfed into my arms.

"Jake?" She whispered it softly, but I tensed anyway, worried she'd picked up on my stealthy disposing of the bloodsucker's little token. I didn't answer right away, and she squirmed to face me. I groaned and pouted.

"Don't move." I hugged her closer. She squeaked and I loosened my grip. A little too close, apparently.

"Jake, I've been thinking…"

"No. No thinking." I kissed her temple, cupping her face in my hands and running my fingers through her hair. She was undeterred. Grabbing my face she tried to pull me away, finally compromising by turning her own face and pressing against my forehead.

"I'm still marrying him, Jacob." My mouth went dry. It was worse, having had a taste of what my life would be like with Bella. Hearing the words again, they sounded foreign and impossible.

"No!" I laughed, but there was no humor in my tone. My body shook, involuntarily. Anger came suddenly, swiftly. In the moment my arms loosened, Bella leapt clumsily from the bed, stumbling over some unseen object and landing against my dresser drawers. She gripped the floor, her face frightened. After several unbearable seconds I had control again. It had been so long since I'd felt this way.

"Bella," I said it quietly, anxiously trying to convince her that I was okay. That she was okay. She looked at me accusingly, an image of Emily no doubt crossing her mind. "I would never, never hurt you."

"I know." But she wouldn't look at me, her voice difficult to read. Cursing silently under my breath I kicked my night stand table, collapsing against my headboard, head in my hands.

"Jacob," Her tone was a warning, like scolding a child.

"Did you hurt yourself?" My voice was less than sincere, anger bubbling up again.

"I'm—" I growled loudly, cutting her off and springing upright.

"How could you possibly be scared of _me_?" I almost shouted, and she shrunk away. "You spend all your time with vampires, who, I don't care what you say Bella, are _designed_ to kill you, but _I'm_ the one you're terrified of?"

"You told me you didn't want me to go away." Her voice was quick and cold, but her eyes seemed hurt. "I tried to leave you be. I told you I loved Edward." She began to pace back and forth, recounting the events of the past couple weeks. "You almost died," she began ticking off on her fingers. "Edward could have died. And I had to sit there and watch. Helplessly." She spit out the last word, positively fuming.

"So what is _this_ Bella? What was last night? Every time it's just you and me, everything's fine." Bella glowered at me, and I ignored her. "You know what? You say _I'm _different since I joined the pack? You're different ever since _Cullen _came back. You and I used to have fun together. Now its like you're an entirely different person. You're so _fake _Bella." She sputtered, but I couldn't stop now, releasing all the angry words I'd been thinking for days on end. "You have two different personalities. And you're only real with me. Just be eighteen for once. Stop trying to be—" My voice turned pleading at the end, and I was flustered. I became instantly aware at how exposed I was, and a little embarrassed. Hastily trying to tie up loose ends, I searched for words that didn't seem to want to come.

Bella sat perched on my dresser, jutting her jaw out, nodding slowly. She gazed at the ceiling, drumming her fingers, her face impossible to read.

"Hey," she said suddenly, standing up and brushing dust off her pants. "You want to go cliff diving?"


End file.
